We all experience painful feelings at one time or another in our lives. Many feelings such as sadness, hopelessness, anxiety and stress naturally arise as part of living life. Sometimes we have negative experiences which can stay with us for a long time. Current events or circumstances can act as “triggers” for those feelings and thoughts to come back into our lives at unexpected times.
Counselling can help you to understand who you are, uncover the strengths you have and find the wisdom to be the person you want to be.
All human beings need to be in a relationship with others, it is our fundamental need. One could argue it’s our greatest challenge as relationships are difficult to form, maintain and leave.
Attachment therapy can inform part of my work. This is where difficulties in adult relationships can be understood by reflecting on the influence of 'attachment patterns' developed in childhood, and the nature of the bonds we made with our early care-givers.
Attachment helps us understand issues such as ‘Why do we appear to choose the same partner?’ or ‘Why do some conversations seem so difficult to have with certain people?
I will help you to understand what you need from a relationship and how to ask for those needs from others.
Difficulty with relationships
Repeating patterns of behaviour, or feeling 'stuck' in a relationship with another person.
Managing difficult feelings - anxiety, stress, anger, sadness, depression, isolation and loneliness.
Issues of loss and bereavement, including divorce, separation, redundancy,
Feeling a lack of purpose or direction in life, or of 'not feeling quite right'.
A greater understanding of yourself
A better understanding of other people
Reasons to feel confident and positive about your future
Ways to enjoy life, rather than just endure it
A less critical or destructive relationship with yourself
An improved ability to make and maintain healthy relationships with others and strategies for managing anxiety, stress.
Have you experienced abuse in a relationship? Are you still involved in such a relationship and struggling to leave? Do you keeping finding yourself with the same sort of partner?
Alcohol and Drug misuse
I am an experienced drug and alcohol counsellor and my work is based on helping people to understand their problems with alcohol and/or drugs and how this has become an issue that affects their lives. What starts out as a simple pleasure can develop into something that affects relationships, work, family and other areas of life in a disruptive way.
I offer to counsel anyone who wants to change or address their alcohol/drug use. Whether you want to stop altogether - or just cut back - I can work with you and support you through this process, possibly exploring reasons why it's become a problem, also ways to initiate change for the better.
My aim is to help you gain insight into the patterns of drinking, the impact on you in the present and then help you to decide what needs to be changed and therefore gain more control and choice over your drinking or use.
Not everyone drinks or uses drugs for the same reason or wants the same outcome, for example, abstinence, so it is important to come to an understanding in the therapy of what would suit you. I will work with you in a collaborative way and support you through this process'
I have worked for the Federation of Disabled people (now Possability People) from 2008 - 2017
During this time I have met many people with a disability either seen or not.
Disabilities are often at least one of the following: permanent, irreversible, life-changing and life-shortening. People are frequently dealing with a physical disability and mental health issues (eg depression or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) or both. As well as an inability to work, meet their own self-care needs, look after a family or contribute to society in a meaningful way.
A loss of identity and purpose is often part of what comes with Illness, mental health issues or physical disabilities which can overwhelm our perceptions of who we are. Often in shock, suicidal, facing isolation and being reliant on others to facilitate basic everyday human needs can lead to deep depression and a sense of hopelessness. not only with their own individual difficulty but a high degree of social exclusion.
Caring for someone who is ill
Having someone in the family who needs caring for can place a huge strain on families, physical, psychological and emotional wellbeing.
If you would like counselling because someone you care about is not well, I can help you find ways in which you can support them effectively and help you to remain healthy and well.
Affected by someone else's alcohol or substance use?
Having worked or the families and carers team at Pavilons, I understand how deeply families, friends and carers can be affected by the alcohol or substance misuse of those they care about.
If you would like counselling because someone else's drinking or drug use is affecting you I can help you find ways in which you can support this person effectively and help you manage the difficulties of being in a relationship with someone who is alcohol or drug dependent.